YOU CAN'T CHOOSE FAMILY, BUT YOU SURE CAN CHOOSE YOUR FRIENDS


Been going through that phrase in my head lately...been thinking a lot about friends and how important they are in one's life. Obviously you can't choose the kind of family you have...after all, they ARE family :D Whatever problems one might have in the family- ups and downs, fights and disagreements, differences and annoying habits... it still boils down to the simple fact that you were BORN into the family..God put you in that family, and despite whatever that goes on...family is still family and I'm sure everyone is bound to their family by love, loyalty and mutual respect.

Friends on the other hand are your own choice. You go through life making friends, losing them or growing closer, and so to add on to the phrase above..

You can't choose family, but you sure can choose your friends, SO CHOOSE WELL.

I've gone through my share of good and bad friends. Ones you can count on and look to for support and encouragement whenever you need it, friends who aren't afraid to tell you the truth because they care. I have many such friends, who've stuck by me through thick and thin, never wavering in their loyalty and faith in me as a person, and impacting my life in such extraodinary ways, accepting me as who I am, accepting changes as part of life, and still being frank enough to tell me when I make mistakes or drive them up the wall! :) These are the TRUE friends because

"A friend LOVES at ALL times"- Proverbs 17:17 (emphasis added, NKJ version)

True friends will never sell you short or betray your trust...

Then you have those who tell you they're your friends, but behind your back, they talk about you, spread rumours (true or otherwise) and don't have the DECENCY to tell you. They talk about you and yet to your face they are sweet and innocent...talk about stabbing the knife into one's back... And then you have those, who maybe because they feel you have changed as a person (for the worse of course) start to treat you like a social outcast, pointing fingers at your faults, never for once considering the fact that MAYBE they are the ones with the big, fat problem. I admit I myself am human as well, and bound to make mistakes. I am probably guilty as well on many occasions...but hey, at least I KNOW I'm guilty and try to fix it. What I cannot fathom is how some people can look at others' shortcomings and emphasise on that without realising that they themselves are probably guilty of the same thing.

"Judge not, that you be not judged. For with what judgement you judge, you will be judged; and with the same measure you use, it will be measured back to you.

And why do you look at the speck in your brother's eye, but do not consider the plank in your own eye? Or how can you say to your brother 'Let me remove the speck out of your eye'; and look, a plank is in your own eye!

Hypocrite! First remove the plank from your own eye, and then you will see clearly to remove the speck out of your brother's eye." -Matthew 7:1-5 (NKJ version)

They also ignore you (and because they ignore you, you're too afraid to say anything so they think you're being a pompous jerk because you're ignoring them!), call on you only when they need help, and basically just act weird around you (because after all, you ARE the one with the problem right? WRONG!). They are usually right and know more about a situation (because they're "smarter") and they are always above you (no way are they as BAD as you!).

Another thing that I find quite repulsive and low is the use of the internet to slag/bitch (sorry for that word!) about someone. Sure, everyone has a right to freedom of expression, but don't you think that it's a cowardly, not to mention low-down and disgusting thing to do? You not only make someone lose respect for another, you're also making people lose respect for you. You speculate and start rumours, causing rife, discord, suspicion...Have you no shame?!?!

I find it quite upsetting as well that many of my younger friends do this (when I mean younger, I mean sec school kids). One of the examples I can think of is actually one forum started by UBD students (not young ey :P) about one particular guy. I understood where they were coming from (since the guy was apparently obnoxious and almost everyone could hardly stand the guy), but I found it too harsh that they did it in such a way, that they made it so public... I guess you can say it did work in the end, because the guy found out about it and I guess he changed his attitude...but I still think it could have been handled a different way. Seriously, I think people should stop being so malicious and spiteful. If you have a problem with someone, tell it to their face. At least have the guts to do that.

In the end, it is each to his own. Everyone has their own opinion and has the right to express it any way they want. I would have to say though, that if you have the guts to slander about someone or have a problem with someone, try and muster some courage (if you have any left over) and tell them to their face (be it something as honest as "I don't like what you're doing" or "I'm sorry"). Try to get over your self-righteous attitude and live your life as someone who deserves respect and has a heart. Take the first step and try not to worry about your pride. IT WON'T KILL YOU TO MAKE THE FIRST MOVE. After all, friendship begins with a smile. (Who made that up anyway??) LOL

I do not mean to single out anyone in particular...but this has been building up for quite some time... My friends are important to me and it hurts to see people not getting along. To whoever has had people treat them this way, I understand how you feel, and I am sorry for what you are going through or have gone through. The only thing I can say is, you will know who your true friends are in a crisis, so hold on to those ones and the rest? Settle the problem, be at peace with yourself, and don't worry about them, for what goes around, comes around :) People will always find stuff to talk about... It's not what people do that defines your life, it's what YOU do that defines it. Live it well :)

And finally, in the words of someone wise:

"Siapa yg terasa, ia tah tu"

No offence people. Freedom of expression, remember? :)
phew! that was long. I'm off.

Dear Lord, I thank you for the gift of TRUE friends. Thank you for making them a part of my life, to help me and support me. May I be an encouragement to them as well. May I be a blessing to them as they have been to me. In Jesus's name, Amen.

BA_FLY'S HOME!

First of all, because I miss you guys soooo much...replies to tags!

Atul: bukan gatal eh...seriously lah, we manage to see frogs creating a foam nest...coolness! Few ppl in the world dapat nampak ahhhh ;) ICT 30th june wah!? Alum lagi ku start eeeehhh!!! DUUUIIII!!!!

Ding: Awu deh...liat movie eh...jgn pontianak eh...payah ku drive dmlm krg! hahaha!

Rach: Hi honey! *big hugs* i don't have any stories but can't wait to hear yours :) come home soon dear...miss u!!

I'm finally home after six days at Belalong. I had fun :) I think everyone did. The part i found fun was...swimming..well...floating...ok...splashing about in the river :P and going into the forest at night *shudder*. It wasn't that scary since it was the five of us (plus Dr Ulmar)...not even when he left on Friday and it was just the four of us...Pretty exciting actually...the forest is so much different at night...very noisy and mysterious :) The part i liked best about Belalong was trudging and splashing in the Sg. Mata Ikan... i LOVED that best :) Oh and the butterflies! *big grin* and catching tadpoles! and watching the frogs making a nest! and the food! :) And no, this wasn't a "fun" trip..it was for field work ok? hehehe (sounded more "fun" to me than work hehe )

It's been a long day...can't say much about what happened today...just that it was loooong :P ok i'm off... oh and will put pics up when i can...byeee!

BA_FLY...OFF TO BELALONG!!! :)

I'll be off to Belalong tomorrow and won't be back 'til Monday... Really, really excited to go...I doubt I'll get much sleep tonight hehehe... You know what I will miss the most? MY BED! and my blankie! It won't fit into my bag! ARGH! I will bring my pillow though hehehe...smelly pillow? I think that's what it's called...it's not smelly whaaaat... ;)to me anyway harharhar

What will I be doing in Belalong? Looking for frogs who are doing it...and I mean literally DOING IT...aaahhh the joys of Bio LOL...something to do with reproductive mechanisms of tree frogs, how they attract mates, where they lay eggs and all that stuff...and I get to go into the forest AT NIGHT (with three other coursemates and one lecturer) 'coz these frogs mate at night...I hope the frogs don't get offended with us peeping at them... :D They'll be 21 of us, with 4 in our group, 9 doing bird watching, and 7 doing tree hugging :D It'll be fun, fun, FUN!!!

Had Japanese food on Sunday night...still without DING, ATUL or Z...haaaiii... Tonight I had dinner at Frats...oh my poor, poor tummy *groan* Too much good food can be BAD! I still want to go for a movie though...maybe after I get back from Belalong... Atul! Ding! Z! Heard (read) that? kekeke...jgn yg horror horror ah...inda ku sanggup tu...inda ku tidur tu krg...and then kan...Z yg lanja... *buat mua ayu* kekeke...JADI KAH NI!? harharhar

Oh and one more thing... I WANNA GO ON A HOLIDAY! :P Singapore anyone? heeheehee (ohhhh kapiiiiih)...

WHAT TO POST ARRRHH???

Been MIA lately...mostly due to the fact that I didn't have my laptop for the past few days...as well as being a lazy bum-bum... Since Atul and Ding (well, Atul mainly...:P) have been asking for an update, I thought I might as well :) (Just managed to get online here...hopping on someone's wireless!:P )

So what have I been up to? I don't know...hahaha...Still at SAS for TO, having fun, eating lots (coz I'm spoilt by the canteen uncle and auntie:) ), socializing with the students (rupanya kami ani dulu pun kuat social-social...) and reading Amy Tan -I've finished The Kitchen God's Wife and am now reading The One Hundred Secret Senses...or something like that:) Life is good :)

Have watched Madagascar TWICE...LOVE it! Went with some of my "younger" friends (younger coz they are, well...younger than me...duh!) the first time, and the second time with eeerrr...friends ;)

Will be going to Belalong from the 21st to the 27th. Have to go get anti-malaria pills from the govt clinic today and then kaaaaaan have to pay $120 for food during our "stay" at Belalong...ohhh kapiiiihhh...hehehe. Why am I going to Belalong? It's actually part of our field ecology course and if I don't go, I don't graduate...Like I have a choice right? It's ok though because I really do wanna go and the last time I was there was ages ago...so yeah, I'm excited *big, big grin*

What else is going on...hmmm...I've signed up for gym again at FZ...for all that money, I'd better lose some weight! :) We've also cleared out of our project room in the Bio dept...get a bit sad when I think about it...no more hang-outs in the room, no more place to watch scary movies, no more room to study and do work or just relax...no more refuge from the storm of UBD life *uhukcrapuhuk* waaaah too deep, that last one hahaha... Maybe we should ask for one in SHBIE...hehehe...No no...seriously...students should have some kind of common room too instead of hanging at the library and making a whole lot of noise...or at the canteen and stuffing our faces...(I blame my weight gain on this hehehe)

Had Japanese food on Tuesday at Escapade (sorry Atul and Ding!) :) with some friends...one of my friends treated me...I didn't eat much...no raw stuff for me! Bleeech! Although Stephen put a piece of pink, slimy gook on my plate (raw salmon! Eeeew!) and I had to take a bite...gave the rest back to him...raw food is gross... *gags* I still prefer Misato though so GIRLS.. ;) BILA????? Kekekeke Z lanja tuu..if not...liat wayang saja...Z lanja jua tuuuu *gives Z a "look"* tunu kerita mu krg... *mutter mutter* hehehehe

I think this is getting waaaaay too long so I better stop..oh, oh...one more thing...thanks GUYS for tagging :) you made my day ;)